Why do we always pick the man, that will eventually break us? Why do we want that bad boy? Why are we drawn to toxicity? Why do we want that drug dealer? Why are we selling drugs? Why do we want a older man? Why are you a High School dropout? Why are you a teenage mother? Why you not working? why are you on the stripper pole? Endless questions of why we chose the wrong path in life.
Sometimes in order to get to the why, we need to look back at our generation. Grandma had to do what she must do to feed 10 kids. That may be staying in a toxic relationship just so the kids would eat. She has no education and neither do any of the kids. And grandpa was a ladies man in the neighborhood. Drug dealing ,number running toxic man. When he came home there was always drunken fights. And the Police was constantly called to the residence. So now your mother thinks this is how we suppose to live. Because growing up she only experience toxicity. So now its your turn to experience life. The only problem is you didn’t have your mother to teach you because Grandma didn’t teach her. Grandma didn’t have anyone to teach her. So it goes on and on and on until someone says STOP! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Break the generation curse.
In order to solve the issue, you must first identify what the root of issue is. Then you can put a plan in place to get to the root and weed it out . Once you do that through educating yourself you then will begin to heal and eventually break that curse before it ruins another generation.
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Have you ever took you on a date? I have, the first time I was a young girl. People thought I was a little weird. They say who does that. ME! When you take a lunch break, you order your food you eat and then go back to work. Guess what? You just took yourself out to eat. You know why? You was hungry and you had to feed yourself.
So tell me what’s the difference, you still have to feed yourself. So what’s wrong with getting dressed up and taking yourself out to dinner? Not one thing. Go to your favorite restaurant, favorite lounge, or be bold go to an upscale bar. If you want a man to notice you, order a cognac and watch the heads turn. This way you weed out the bad bunch. They will tread lightly because the way you look you mean business. Just try it at least once.
That gentleman that wants to wine and dine you will come correct. After all he knows you don’t have a problem taking care of you. The other night I turned the phone off, and I had a bottle of wine and a cheese platter. I was playing” The Soul of a Woman” by Johnny Gill which is one of my favorite songs. I had a nice bubble bath drawn and plenty of candles. My date was very relaxing. After that first date with me I was hooked. How about you?
There is a new video that was released, called the WAP. If you don’t know what the WAP is, I would suggest that you google it. That got me wondering who are our influencers. Every where you look there is sex selling us a dream. The young ladies that did this video suppose to be showing the world empowered women. But all they doing is stripping without the pole. Is this what we showing our young ladies and young men? They are called entertainers they are there to make money and to sell music. But they are influencing your mind with the WAP. You suppose to be our tomorrow. But our today is giving them the wrong message. When I was growing up, I looked up to the Martin Luther Kings, and Malcom X’s of the world. Instead of emulating Michelle Obama, Oprah or Mrs. Harris the next VP of the United States, they rather look up to the Instagram model that is twerking or that movie star that is trying to sell them beauty. You spend all your money on fashion but don’t have money for college. Where does our priority start. Stop worrying about a WAP and worry about getting a degree or a successful career.
I woke up this morning 🌄 and looked in the mirror. Who did I see. The most beautiful, important intellectual ,self-loved , 💜 resourceful ,self-employed, self-contained, self efficient independent ,well informed, sexy, motivated, brown skin woman looking back at me. WOW!! What a sight 😍 ❤ to see.
OMG look at him he is fine. Look at his hair, look at his skin, look at his clothes, look at his eyes. OMG he is definitely eye candy. So I get it, he’s gorgeous! Now that you established his beauty, what about his standards.
My tips for the first 30 days. When you go on a date ask all the questions you want. If he has a problem with that. Run in the other direction. The only way you will find out about him is to ask. Dating is collecting data to see if you want a relationship. Once you collect enough data in 30 days you can deicide if you want to continue. Don’t invite him to your house. Always meet him on the date. Offer to pay for your half of the meal because he is not your man. But if he insist then let him pay. See if he respects your standards.
Do he also have standards? Do you talk to him everyday for at least an hour? Do he text you through out the day? Do you go on dates weekly? And please do not sleep with him. Remember you are just dating. Does he get upset if he don’t talk to you because your working on some projects? Does he take you around his family and friends? How was his childhood growing up? Did he show you a paystub? Where do he see himself in 5yrs? What are his intentions with you? Does he live alone or with his mother? What’s his credit score? Do he have any savings? Do he have emergency money? If something was to happen and you leave this earth. Could you trust him with your children and your affairs? If the answer is no, leave him right away. It should be easy. You didn’t sleep with him, he don’t know where you live or work. So you didn’t create a soul-tie. At the end of the day you just saved yourself.